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what does she want?

Were you hoping for some magic potion that would have women grabbing your legs as you walked by, hanging on while you dragged them down the street?

Sorry, that's more about what you want rather than what women want.

It's really simple what women want -- the same thing you want. Someone who is honest with them, treats them with consideration and thoughtfulness, is reliable, affectionate, and attentive.

A woman wants to be treated like an individual. She wants to feel important to you. She wants to know that she's worth your time, attention, and effort.

Here are some really simple things to do.

  • Treat her like a lady. Even if later on you find out that she loves raunchy jokes, don't start out the relationship by telling her your favorites.
  • Don't tell her about your past conquests (real or imagined). She will not be impressed hearing about how much you've scored. She won't want to hear from you ever again.
  • If you say you are going to call, call. Nothing brands a guy a jerk faster than not calling. Even if you don't want to continue the relationship, call and say so (nicely).
  • If you invite her out, offer and expect to pay (without return favors). If she says no, that she would like to pay half, then let her. (If she invites you out, I would expect her to pay.)
  • Listen when she talks to you -- keep your eyes on her face, not wandering around.
  • Let her talk about herself and her interests.
  • If you have a new girl you want to impress, make a note of your first date -- time, where you went, what you did and said. Then after a month, celebrate your one month anniversary.
  • But don't rush things. Don't buy her expensive gifts until you've been dating a long time. One flower, and not necessarily a rose, is a nice gesture on your first date, but no more than that.
  • After a few dates, if all is going well, you can send her a message in a bottle or something similarly romantic like that.

Special advice for geeks.

  • Women like good grooming. Don't forget to shower regularly.
  • Women tend to like nice clothes. If you have no fashion sense, go to a store where there is a sales assistant to help you pick out something that matches.
  • Don't talk about technical stuff unless the woman you asked out is a geek herself. Even then try to talk about something else. Ask her what she likes to do when she's not working (or studying).
  • Don't brag about your intellectual accomplishments. Who cares if you took calculus in the seventh grade?

Sure, you think. I know nice guys finish last. Well, sometimes you do all the right things and it just doesn't click for her. That doesn't mean you don't know what women want. It means that the relationship just didn't work out with this particular woman. Take your nice guy traits and keep trying.

That said, being nice is not the same as being a doormat. Most women don't like doormats. Most women like confident (not arrogant) guys. Women also like guys who are upbeat, capable, and can make them laugh.

But -- and this is important -- not all women are the same. Not all women are going to find your jokes funny. And your personality is not going to work with all women. If you are quiet and shy, chances are good that the life of the party isn't going to notice you or be interested. After all if you are the wild-and-crazy type, do you go after the studious women?

So, next think about what you want.


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